Sleep Training: A Literature Review

A friend recently texted me: "Do you have your baby on a sleep schedule?"

Ha! She had no idea what she was getting into by asking me this question.

I'm not one of those moms who Does Things That Work. So, this is not a blog with Answers! However, I thought I'd piece together information I wish I'd had before my baby was born. Plus, it's a huge part of my life lately so it's all I have to write about. :)

I've collected a small library of sleep books and somehow managed to read them in the midst of my zombie brain! Here I offer a comprehensive literature review.

Babywise:
Get it together, baby. You eat, play, and sleep when I say so, and always in that order. You will cry as much as you need to get on my schedule. Soothing is for the weak.
                  Me: Um, I feel sick reading this. Don't make me do this!
                  Babywise moms: Sure, enjoy your moral high ground. We're going to enjoy our twelve hours of sleep.
                  *What I found useful: Coralie is definitely happier with a routine.

Dr. Sears:
You are cruel, Babywise, and you will ruin your baby forever. Instead, why not let her sleep in your bed and breastfeed whenever she wants to? DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR BABY?? Sleep is for the weak.
                  Me: Yes! I am an Attachment Parent! Oh God, I'm so tired.
                  Coralie: It's 4am! Let's play!! Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
                  *What helped: at least somebody is in favor of soothing a crying baby.

Dr. Ferber:
So this thing called scientific research says...(zzzzz). Don't be cruel. Let your baby cry in small, increasing increments. It's the humane thing to do. But you need to "give your baby the opportunity to fall asleep on her own"!
                 Me: This is code for: "Listen to her scream her heart out until you cry into your husband's T-shirt."
                 *What I liked: we tried his method for bedtime at 3 months old, and it made a big difference. Coralie goes down easily most nights now.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer:
I am the nanny you wish you were. Follow my program and it will be E-A-S-Y! Eat, awake, sleep, time for yourself! Get the routine down and she'll start falling asleep on her own.
                 Coralie: What's wrong with you? I'm not hungry and now I'm not sleepy. I sleep for 45 minutes no matter what you say, thank you very much.
                *What helped: lots of specifics on how to care for a baby in general.

Sleeping Through the Night:
If bedtime is your enemy, this book is for you. It will guide you through every detail. Then, once your baby can fall asleep on her own, the book says she'll sleep through the night when she's ready.
                Coralie: Haha! That's a good one! Hahaha!
                *What helped: acknowledging that sleep training may not work until 5 months. Things really are much different at 5 months.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution:
Get out your pencils, people. We're making charts and graphs and a few Venn diagrams while we're at it. If we track your baby's every move, maybe we'll figure out when she wants to sleep. Or maybe if you just soothe her and feed her enough she'll grow out of it.
                Coralie: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

This leads us to our winner. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I resisted this book for a long time because I knew he was a cry-it-out advocate. However, this is apparently the book Coralie read cover-to-cover, because so far he has been right about EVERYTHING.

Things he taught me that were helpful:
1. Two words: avoid overtiredness. Put that baby down sooner than you think!
2. You can try all that no-cry stuff, but it won't work for everyone. Some babies really just need to cry it out.
3. Forget "dream feeding." "How would you like it if I woke you out of a deep sleep and fed you when you weren't hungry?"
4. Cluster-feeding and solid foods don't help babies sleep longer.

HOWEVER, the downsides are that I felt like a slave to her naps and I became OBSESSED with sleep. I worried that if she didn't sleep enough her cognitive development would suffer and blah blah blah...can't a new mom get a break?


What We Did:

For the first three months, we soothed like crazy and prayed that Coralie would figure sleep out on her own. She didn't.
Then, we established a nighttime routine and bedtime. Still, she cried and we soothed for hours.
Then, we tried Ferber's method for bedtime. It took a while, but she did start falling asleep on her own. It was excruciating to hear her cry. I sat and stared at the wall and hated myself.
Still, naps were short and she woke a lot at night. I followed Weissbluth and put her down every 1-2 hours.
Now, her naps have finally become more normal. Sometimes we soothe her if she wakes up quickly, and she might go back to sleep a while longer.
She still woke up several times at night though. So, dear reader, we did it. We let her cry.

I am no longer judgmental about people who let their babies cry. We are not cruel people. We are desperate people.

I was starting to have crazy thoughts. Thoughts like, "Maybe I should have a heart attack so I can go to the hospital and get some rest for a few days."

And I have to say, so far it is helping. She gets up less, and I am in better spirits.  She wakes up smiling and laughing and seems no worse for wear. She is a joy! 

If you made it to the end of this post, I adore you. You clearly care about me a lot. :)








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