As long as I can remember, like most of us, I have always been fascinated by relationships. I keep thinking about that book on relationships I mentioned earlier: Getting the Love You Want: A guide for couples. It is really wonderful.

Psychoanalysts have long said that we tend to choose partners who resemble our caretakers from childhood. This is potentially good, but can also trigger past wounds. The author of the guide says yes that´s often true, and for very good reason: the psyche is trying to re-create the childhood environment so that it can heal whatever wounds are still leftover.

So, he says, whatever you find yourself asking for repeatedly from your parter--listen to that. It´s probably something you didn´t get in childhood. You can use those messages to heal yourself.

But, he also says, listen to whatever your partner asks from you. It´s probably something you haven´t fully developed in yourself, and developing it will make you a more whole person.

He thinks if partners devote themselves to satisfying each others´ needs, they will simultaneously become more whole people and heal each other deeply.

I just love that. Do you love that? It makes so much sense and is so beautiful and positive and simple.